So BP, Obama and a schoolyard of kindergarteners are in a boat in the ocean...

This was actually a response I made to a post on Common Cents, and I liked my own response so damn much, I decided to recycle it here so nobody would see it.

http://commoncts.blogspot.com/2010/06/required-reading-if-you-read-only-one.html

I keep reading articles and blogs that are pages long that can all be summed up as follows;

"The oil spill is Obama's fault."

I fail to see how anyone with the intelligence to write three pages of words with multiple consonants can be so short sighted and biased towards an agenda, rather than seeing the much simpler truth.

Let me break it down kindergarten playground style. But this is a strange kindergarten so try to follow along.

Lets say that all the kids on the playground represent oil companies. All the kids want to build sand castles which represent oil wells. Let us also pretend that the students somehow get copious amounts of allowance money by building sand castles. And the teachers, in this twisted scenario, are all elected to be there by the parents.

But the parents were influenced as to who to hire by the children who spent all their allowance money to pimp teachers that would let them build sand castles whenever, wherever and however they wanted by, lets say by baking cookies with slogans on them to be served free of charge at the next PTA meeting.

The funding for the teachers campaigns who supported sand castle regulation paled in comparison since, I mean, c'mon! Who's going to fund a teacher who wants smaller, more regulated sand castles! Not you!

What do you think is going to happen here? There's going to be sand castles in the principles office, in the lunch room, on the playground, on the roof, in the pool, even off school property. The sand castles will be built to be profitable, but if one topples over and gets into the Jell-O, well we'll just deal with that then.

Many of the children may actually be concerned about possible Jell-O contamination, but there aren't enough of them, and it makes no economic sense for them to build smaller, safer sand castles, since they'll generate less allowance money to buy the Jell-O with in the first place.

Jell-O represents the gulf, in case you didn't figure that out.

It's up to the teachers to make them build smaller and safer sand castles. See, if they regulate it, then ALL the students will face the same handicap and will be competitive with each other, despite the added cost of the regulation. Regulation is required to even the playing field so the children can split the costs of developing the technology to build Jell-O safe sand castles.

But since all the teachers are essentially planted there by the children in the first place, thanks to parents too lazy to do anything other than eat the cookies at the PTA meeting and in the process not learning of the Jell-O safe teachers due to excessive cookie bombardment and limited budges of said Jell-O safe teachers.

So, bottom line is, the oil spill isn't Obama's fault, it isn't Bush's fault, and it's not the oil companies fault. Its your own damn fault for electing the clowns that cater to them. Shame on you!